If your child is constantly asking for things this holiday season, you are not alone! The world is lit up with gifts right now, and even as an adult, walking around Target makes me want to buy, buy, buy!

Thankfully, I have impulse control (kind of…). Your children are still developing theirs. According to research, impulse control isn’t fully developed until early adulthood, so it kinda makes sense that they grab every sparkly item in the store.

I’ve got a few strategies for you when it comes to responding to your kids when they are asking for EVERYTHING!

First, and most importantly, give your child something to do with their WANT. This approach lets them feel acknowledged rather than ignored and can often be enough to defuse any power struggles.

“We aren’t going to buy that today, but we can…”

Write it down on this Post-it note (or draw a picture) and we can put it on your wish list so we don’t forget.
Come sit in the cart and tell me more about that robot dinosaur you want. It sounds so interesting.
This approach lets them feel acknowledged rather than ignored and can often be enough to defuse any power struggles.

While we might be tempted to say things like:

"Stop asking me for so much stuff!"
"Don't be so greedy!"
"You already have so many things!"

It sends them the message that the answer will always be no and that it isn’t okay to ask for what you want.

Instead, try saying things like,

“It’s okay to want things, and it’s okay to ask for things. Sometimes I’ll say yes, and sometimes I’ll say no. But it’s always okay for you to ask.”

Tell them:

“You might get a yes, you might get a no, it is okay for you to ask for what you want.”

Even if your answer is going to be “no”, let your child know that you hear them and understand why they asked for what they want.

“That is such a cool bike! I get why you would want to have that!”

Let your child know that you’re empathetic to their wants and they will be much less likely to engage in a power struggle.

The next time you’re somewhere (or even home watching TV or browsing the internet) and your kid is asking you for stuff non-stop and you’re about to blow your top, pause. Remember this simple strategy and that it is a good opportunity to instill in your child that it is always okay for them to ask for what they want.

It doesn’t mean that you have to give in to your child, or that they’re always going to get what they want, but it will paint the picture to them that it’s always okay for them to ask.