"You really wished you had that too."

Sound simple? This phrase is about to become your go-to, especially when the kids' presents are being flaunted, and feelings of envy start bubbling up.

The Scene: All presents are unwrapped. Little ones excitedly share their new treasures. Then you spot it. Your niece and nephew excitedly showing off their brand-new iPads, ready to play with their favorite games.

You spent hours last night putting together the balance bike your child had been wishing for… and now all they are doing is whining because they didn’t get a brand-new iPad.

The Guilt Trap: If you're like me, your mind might race: 'Why can't my child just be grateful? When I was their age, I never dared complain!'

But wait, let's flip the script.

Imagine This: You're stepping into a ritzy, black-tie event. You’ve meticulously planned your outfit. You're in silver sparkles from head to toe, feeling like a million bucks. And then, out of nowhere, you see her: another guest in a drop-dead-gorgeous black gown. Suddenly, your shine feels a little less bright. You whisper your envy to your partner.

Reaction A: They snap, “Seriously? After all the effort you put into tonight? You were on cloud nine a second ago!" Result? You feel ashamed and frustrated.

Reaction B: They smile, “You look breathtaking, and yes, her dress is lovely. You’d rock a black dress too, and you can always wear one next time around! Now, shall we dance?" Result? You feel understood, accepted, loved.

Back to the Holiday Scene: Just as we need understanding in our moments of insecurity, kids need the same acknowledgment, especially during the festive season.

Instead of snapping with, “You should be grateful!” why not try, “You really wished you had that iPad too, huh? Tell me, what do you like about it? It does look so cool, I agree! Maybe you can ask for one for your birthday.”

The Bottom Line: Allow your kids the space to navigate their feelings. Avoid dismissing or shaming them. Recognize their desires, chat about them, and soon enough, they'll be zooming around, showing off their new balance bike with pride!