The Gentle Side of Boo: Creating a Toddler-Friendly Hallowe
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When my oldest child was two, we moved from the city to the suburbs. There was a nip in the air, and I loved the new found freedom of taking him outside on walks sans stroller. We meandered at his toddler pace, stopping to examine smooshed worms from the rain the night before and to stomp on fallen leaves and listen to hear if they would crunch. I’m probably romanticizing this time in my head- he’s off to college next year and I’m in my feels. Anyway, one post nap afternoon, we wandered out the front door to see what we could see. Our next door neighbors had hung a very spooky and very realistic (for 2009) bloody skeleton from their tree out front. My little Nate saw it and grasped onto my leg so tightly, I thought he merged into me. Of course, it was adorable and the neighbors laughed out loud by his adorable terror, but Nate was legit scared. He had questions. Why did his beloved neighbors have bloody bones? Were the bloody bones going to get him? Would he ever sleep again? Okay, the last question was from a very pregnant and tired me.
Developmentally, little kids between the ages of two and five have difficulty distinguishing between real and pretend. On a good day, they aren’t sure what’s what. Add Halloween into the mix, especailly in 2024 when those decorations are REALISTIC, and you have yourselves a recipe for Halloween disaster.
What you need to know:
Between the ages of two and five magical thinking is common, the imagination is vivid, and their inderstanding of real and pretend is inconsistent at best.
Read on for some simple switches to hack your toddler’s Halloween and make it boo-tiful for all. See what I did there? I need more coffee.
Many Preschoolers and Toddler Wonder:
Am I still me even if I am wearing a mask/wig/costume?
Why do I have to wear this itchy, uncomfortable costume?
Is that still my real mom/ dad/ babysitter when she puts on a costume?
WHY is everything so spooky and scary? Is it real?
Are those kids playing dress up or is that really a monster/ skeleton/ ghost?
Why am I so overwhelmed/ overstimulated/ tired/ CRaZy??!
Insert LOTS more of your own pre-schoooler's sentiments here...
When kids can't find the words for their big questions, they might act out instead. It's their way of saying, "Hey, I'm confused about something!"
Here's another fun and surprising tidbit: Sometimes, when preschoolers are actually scared of something, they might ask to see or do it over and over again. It's like they're trying to become the boss of their fears by facing them head-on. So, if your child seems both scared and excited about something - maybe they're begging to watch that slightly spooky movie again, you might want to look a little more closely at what’s going on.
Here’s how you are going to hack your toddler’s Halloween to make it fun and age appropriate:
Practice for Halloween!
Back in my preschool classroom days and in my own home when my kids were little, I set up this little corner to “practice” for Halloween. There are a few Halloween books, a few mini pumpkins in a trick or treat sack, a mirror and some simple masks and costumes. It gives children an opportunity to practice and process what we are learning about Halloween. Plus, it’s super fun, festive and they love it.
Another way to practice for Halloween is to “play” Halloween. This can be fun and really pay off on the actual holiday.
Let your child practice dressing up and knocking on the door (to your home or even their bedroom!) They will LOVE this game, and it lets them get used to their costume and the customs that go along with Halloween.
Answer the door and let them try saying, "trick or treat!" You can wear different disguises each time you answer if you want, remind them that you are STILL you! Don’t be surprised if they beg to play this over and over again.
Protect Your Child’s Feelings
I always say this, but you know your child better than anyone else. You know if they have sensory needs that might not make a bulky or too-tight costume feel like fun. You know if they are sensitive to being scared. If they are, please don’t drag them through the costume aisle of CVS or Target where things are moaning and flashing and jumping out at them. Please do not take them on a scary hayride if they are not going to enjoy it. (Becaause I did that once and my daughter STILL BRINGS IT UP). Please do not let older siblings, aunties and whoever else SCARE them in the name of fun. Please consider who is actually having the fun.
Important conversation starters about Halloween with little ones:
1. People are still themselves EVEN when they are wearing a costume.
Talk a lot about how people are still people, no matter what. Sounds obvious to you but trust me… it is not a clear concept for young children.
Explore the concept with your child by putting on a simple, NOT SCARY wig and say, "Look! I am still Mommy, even when I am wearing this silly wig." Show them over and over. Invite them to try it on themselves. You can even do this with a blanket or a very simple mask.
When they've taken over, show them the mirror. "Look! You are still you, even with the silly wig on."
2. Remind your Child that you will stay near them and keep them (including their feelings) safe.
Demonstrate this by protecting them from tv shows or decorations that you know are too scary. www.commonsensemedia.com is a fantastic and free website that can help you understand what is appropriate for your child.
Remind older siblings and well-meaning adults that Halloween can be too scary for some young children and to keep their tricks age-appropriate.
Follow your child's cues.
Keep trick or treating short.
Only take them to parties and parades that are age-appropriate.
3. Read lots of gentle books...there are a lot of great children's books out there. Go to your local library and get some. Here are some of our favorites...
Halloween is Coming https://amzn.to/47PciCV
Go Away Big Green Monster https://amzn.to/47QpA1S
Pete The Cat Trick or Treat Pete https://amzn.to/3zNguqf
Most Importantly, have fun!
Here are a few of our favorite Halloween products from across the web:
Stick on bats https://amzn.to/4eJ6ahD
Washable face and body paint https://amzn.to/4dvGzbh
Simple super hero mask https://amzn.to/4epSAA3
Wall mirror https://amzn.to/3TTlTTn
Toddler T Shirt https://amzn.to/3zD6vnp
Halloween Plates https://amzn.to/4h1HAuH
Coloring Banner https://amzn.to/3zHFGhI
Foam Sword https://amzn.to/3ZPshis
Silk Crown https://amzn.to/3Y9q7sz
Halloween PJs https://amzn.to/3Y5FthL
Halloween Mini Playdough Kit https://amzn.to/3NeMsyN
Hanging Friendly Ghosts https://amzn.to/3BsCh73
Light Up Halloween Bracelets https://amzn.to/47Rx9W8
CHECK OUT OUR EBOOKS!
THE PLAY PLAN
The Play Plan is an ebook containing play invitations that are easy to set up, inexpensive, and apply children of all ages. The 25 play prompts are divided into five categories and use items that you most likely already have at home. These play prompts consider children of all ages, all developmental stages, and all learning capabilities. Each prompt can be tailored to fit your unique child’s needs. Play is meant to be simple.
Has your child requested an item this holiday season that you are not on board with? Read this.