Teaching Independent Play: How to Help Your Child Who Needs Constant Feedback
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If you have a child who constantly seeks attention and feedback, you might think they’ll never play independently. But rest assured, all children can learn to play independently. It may just take a little extra effort and patience on your part.
“MOMMY! Come look at my building!”
“Mommy, do you like my building?”
First, start by identifying your child's play style and interests. What are they drawn to? How do they typically play? Understanding these things can help you set them up for success when it comes to independent play.
For example, if they love trains, make sure their play space includes an area where the tracks are already set up for them, with a few extra pieces for them to add on. It’s more inviting for the child and they’ll be more likely to dive right in.
Next, try introducing small increments of waiting time. For example, if your child asks you to come to look at their building, respond by saying “I can’t wait to check it out in two more minutes. Can you set a timer on Alexa for me please?” This helps them practice waiting and gives you a chance to finish up whatever task you're working on.
“You want me to come right now and I am making lunch. Put 4 more blocks on and then I'll be there to look!”
“I’m not going to look right now. Instead, can you describe your work to me?”
When you are talking with your child about their play, encourage them to tell you about their process and effort rather than just the end result. This helps them focus on the process of play rather than just seeking validation from you.
"Tell me about this part. It looks like you had to really thinks about how to make this work."
“I’m curious about how many tries it must’ve taken to get those blocks balanced in that way!”
It's also important to remember that children who are used to constant entertainment and attention may need more practice in independent play. Be patient and remember that it's a skill that can be developed over time.
Finally, don't forget to encourage your child's efforts. As they gain confidence and independence in their play, they will be more likely to seek it out on their own.Teaching independent play may take some time and effort, but it's a valuable skill that will benefit your child in the long run. With a little patience and understanding, you can help your child who craves constant feedback learn to play independently and fill their own reserves.
If you want to set up a can’t-miss quiet time and independent play routine, check out my Quiet Time and Independent Play Audio Course and Workbook. You’ll learn, step by step, the methods that have helped hundreds of families implement daily quiet time and independent play in their homes. Click here to check it out.
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If you want to create a home that is filled with play and creativity, the key is to let your child know how much you value the time and effort they spent playing.