Overscheduled Kids? 10 Must-Ask Questions Before Signing Up for Fall Activities

Parents have the opportunity to create early play habits in their children by carving out time for unstructured play. Instead of conditioning kids to hustle more and push harder, what would happen if we valued time to play and rest? What would it feel like to reserve time for the playground instead of the lessons?  What would the result be if we worried less about kids being at the top of the class and more about kids feeling comfortable in their own skin?

Adults are struggling with burnout across all areas of their lives. In contemporary Western society, consumers collectively spend billions of dollars annually on products, services, and experiences designed to promote mindfulness, relaxation, and stress reduction. We chase the dream of feeling grounded. Kids already know the answer is time for play.

Let’s talk about overscheduling our kids. Before I dive into this topic, I want to be sensitive to the fact that different families have varying childcare needs, and many parents need childcare while they work. Some families don’t have access to safe green space for their children to play and they use after-school activities as a way to keep their children out of harm’s way. I want to be clear that the following ideas are meant to empower parents, not to shame anyone for their choices. This is a safe space for ALL parents and caregivers.  

When my kids were small, I was a SAHM, so I didn’t need to use after-school activities as a form of childcare. Now, as a working mom, I am so grateful to our local JCC where my youngest attends aftercare a few days per week.  

Overscheduled kids? 5 Must Ask Questions Before Signing Up For Fall Activities: 

When I was a SAHM, not only were lots of sports and classes not in the budget, but was more important to me to protect their unscheduled downtime. While I wanted my kids to be exposed to valuable sports and lessons, I also wanted them to relax and have the opportunity to run around in the neighborhood and have as much unstructured playtime as possible. Leaving afternoons open was my goal. During the school day, they’re told when to sit, where to walk, and how to learn. It’s structured down to the minute. At home, I felt that my job was to provide the balance. They loved the open-ended, wandering, play-with-whomever-turns-up, creative, child-led-downtime. It was within that space that they learned to listen to their internal rhythms and figured out how to be. It also made our family life simpler, easier, and less expensive.

Now my kids are older. I work from home.  I have less free time to spend supporting their play. They have more homework and they’ve decided to play team sports. Their needs have changed and so have our family’s needs. While we are much “busier” these days, we all look back fondly on those beat-to-your-own drum afternoons from many years back.

With Fall approaching and sign-ups looming, I want to support families to make informed choices about how many and which activities to choose for their kids.

5 questions to ask your child before signing up for activities: 

• “What's your favorite part of [activity]? Take a moment to really think about it."

• "Imagine it's [activity] day. How does your tummy feel when you wake up? Excited butterflies or nervous knots?"

• "If you could choose between [activity] and [activity], which would make you smile more? It's okay to be honest."

• "When you're doing [activity], do you feel relaxed, or do you wish you were doing something else?"

• "Let's pretend there's no [activity] next week. Would you feel sad, relieved, or wouldn't mind either way? There's no right answer."

5 questions to ask yourself

• "How does our current mix of structured activities and free time align with our family's values and needs?”

• "In what ways do our chosen activities support my child's growth and interests? Are there any we could add or remove to better serve these goals?"

• "How well does our schedule accommodate both the need for enrichment and the need for downtime? For working parents, how can we creatively carve out quality family time within our schedules?”

• "For my child, what kind of environment helps them thrive? Do they need more structure or more free play? How can we fit that into a way that works for all of us?

• When I look at our family calendar, does it reflect a sustainable rhythm for all of us? Are there ways we can adjust to better support everyone's needs - including parent self-care?"

Remember, the goal isn't to eliminate all structured activities or to pack every moment with lessons. It's about finding the right balance for your unique family. For some, that might mean embracing a full schedule of activities that also provide child care.  For others, it could mean fiercely protecting unscheduled time.

Working parents might need to rely more on structured after-school programs, but can still prioritize pockets of free time on weekends. Families with neurodivergent children might find that certain structured activities provide essential support and routine, while still ensuring some flexibility for decompression.

The key is to regularly check in with yourself and your child. Are your choices serving your family's current needs? Are they sustainable? Are they bringing more joy than stress?

There's no perfect formula, only the one that works best for your family right now. And that formula might change as your children grow, as work situations shift, or as new opportunities arise.

So whether your afternoons are filled with sports practice, music lessons, therapeutic activities, or unstructured play - or a mix of all of these - what matters most is that your choices align with your family's values, support your child's development, and contribute to a mostly balanced family life.

I hope you enjoyed this blog! If you want to keep up with more Workspace for Children content, follow along on Instagram by clicking HERE.

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