Why I Don't Homeschool My Children

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Quick question. Do you homeschool? If not, what kind of school do your children attend and does it compliment how you are bringing them up? Also what do their afternoons after school look like? Do you do activities with them in this time? My child has just started school and wondering how his time can be managed out of school?! Thank you for your time x
— Instagram DM

First, thank you for the DMs and the private messages on my Facebook and Instagram.  I really appreciate it when you take the time to connect with me.  I spend a lot of time creating content  to share with all of you and sometimes it feels like I am shooting it into a great black hole! Questions and feedback are always appreciated.  Getting to know you guys is a special experience that I value. 

Do you homeschool?

I do not homeschool my kids.  I have so much respect for the parents and caregivers who are able to do this.  I am not one of them.  To be completely honest, I value the time that my children are off at school! I use that time to work, take care of our home and family responsibilities, volunteer and get the occasional haircut or pedicure!

 

What kind of school do your children attend?

My youngest is in nursery school at a wonderful reggio-inspired co-op. It is a one-room schoolhouse in the center of a beautiful park.  My big kids went there too and it is a second home to all of us. 

My middle daughter attends second grade in our local public school in an inclusion classroom.  While she is typically developing, I believe in the inclusion model and I always request to have my children placed within in that setting. 

My oldest child is in fifth grade at public school. Next year he’s off to middle school, eeek!

The big two are in public school and the little one will be there next year.  I value their school experience in a myriad of ways.  Are there things I would change if I could? Of course.  Do I agree with everything there? No way. 

When my oldest was entering Kindergarten, I really struggled.  I was still a new parent and it was hard for me to send him off into the unknown.  He was learning in a way that wasn’t mom-approved and his world became much less child-centered than he (I) was used to.  My husband believed strongly in sending the children to public school with their neighborhood friends.  Plus, there was no way we could afford private school. So, off he went to public Kindergarten. At the time, it was hard for me, but as they say, hindsight is 20/20 and I am SO happy we decided to send the children off to school with their friends.  They (and I) have become flexible, made many friends and we all have learned a ton along the way.  I am so grateful to the teachers, speciality staff, administration and support staff that work their butts off every day to give my children a safe, happy school experience. 

What do their afternoons look like?

I attempt to unschedule our afternoons to the best of my ability.  Unstructured playtime is a core family value.  Ideally, I want my children to come home from school and chill.  We love to explore in the woods, play at home, make and create, and ride bikes.  Reality, however, is another story. 

Nate (10) loves unstructured time to ride his bike.  It is his passion and he would do it all day if he could.  He's never bored and has always been really good at occupying himself either alone or with friends.  He insists on keeping his afternoons clear and I support it! He has religious school one afternoon per week.  He aslo plays the piano and takes a lesson in our home one 45 minute period per week. 

Ruby (age 7) plays soccer at an elementary level.  I was not enthused when she asked to play. We’ve never really been a sporty family and the thought of lugging children to and from practices multiple times a week did not appeal to me.  I envisioned fighting with her to get ready and then watching her be unenthusiastic in the game…Boy was I wrong!  She LOVES soccer, is eager to head to practice, and we are in a carpool which frees me up from the constant driving.  My heart swells to watch her play.  She is strong and confident and willing to take risks.  Above all, she is a gracious and kind teammate. 

Sloane (age 4) goes to nursery school five mornings per week.  She does not participate in any scheduled after school activities.  She has an occasional playdate, but mostly it's just independent play time while she eagerly awaits her siblings arrival home.  Sloane receives speech and language therapy one hour per week in our home. 

We lean towards early bedtimes and we eat dinner around 5:30 most evenings.   I am an early to bed, early to rise person and my children have always been quite similar to me in that regard. 

Do you do activities in the afternoon with your children?

Yes and no.... let me explain.  We have an open-ended art cabinet and plenty of open-ended toys to work with.  Because we spend a lot of time playing, my kids are good at it.  They don’t need me to carve out an activity for them. They have learned to be industrious, self-starters. 

On the flip side, making and creating with my children is my passion.  It is my joy to set up an invitation to create and watch them go to it.  Creating together as a family is joyful.  So, yes, I do set up activities a few times a week. 

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That's it! That is what our school and after school looks like.  Did I answer your questions? Do you have more? What do you hope to see more of here and on my Instagram? It is an honor for me to use this platform to help other moms and families in their journeys of figuring out what works for their tribe.  Please reach out to me in the comments. I love to hear from you.  

Thanks for following along, 

Lizzie 

Is it Possible for Your Kids to Do Chores that are ACTUALLY Helpful? Plus, My Secret Weapon Revealed.

Do Your Kids Do Chores?

I know, I know, it sounds like torture for everyone involved.  But, I think we’ve figured out a way to make it work- most of the time.  Truth be told, I am inherently lazy.  So lazy that my kids have actually adapted! They have learned to pick up some of the slack.  And it’s awesome.  Want to know how we do it? Read on.

Why Do I Rely On Chores?

I need help. There's always a bottomless pit of things that need to get done.   I have three kids in three different schools, a dog, and a husband.  It frustrates me to no end when I spend all of my valuable time picking up shoes, tidying up blocks, clearing dishes, sorting laundry, etc.  I love to spend my time being creative with my kids.  They love to be creative together.  In order for that to happen, they know it is best to help free up some of my time.  Happy mom = happy family. 

Simple Chore Guidlines:

1) Chores are best kept simple, they are NOT meant to make more work for me!

2) Chores are a choice.  I do not have it in me to stand over the children and force them to do their chores. 

3) Chores are age-appropriate. I aim for the children to feel successful and master the task that I am asking them to complete. This is really important in being able to get them to do it without having to nag.  Think small bites, not huge mouthfuls.  

4) Chores are actual tasks we need to get done. They are not made up because I feel like I should be teaching responsibility.  

How do we do it? Meet the reinvented chore chart.

I have three children and three different chore charts.  The children decide if and when they fill them out… WHAT? Yes, they decide if and when. 

When a chore is completed, they color in that bubble on the chore chart.

Like I said earlier, I do not have the bandwidth to stand over my kids and make them do their chores.  If I had to do that, I might as well just do them myself.  What motivates them to actually complete the charts and help out? I wasn't really sure, so I asked them.  Here’s what they said...

We have more time to have fun when we do our chores.”
“It’s just part of our routine.”
“I get in the mood to do chores ‘cuz it makes you like us.”
“I like the way you put the chores in the poppy bubbles instead of just… check, check, check.”
“I like that I get to pick which chore to do when.
— Straight out of Nate and Ruby's mouths on a Sunday afternoon

Their comments kind of surprised me.  I usually offer a choice of rewards for when you complete a chart.  I thought for sure that they would say they do their chores for the reward, but nope.  Wrong again.  In fact, Nate just called me out and said, “Actually, you always forget to give us the thing we won. And then we just forget too.” Oops. It’s totally true. My forgetfulness is another one of my most redeeming qualities. 

Rewards that are often neglected.

Rewards that are often neglected.

What Chores do They Complete?

Nate (nine and a half):  Walk the dog, start the laundry or switch the laundry, take recycling to the curb, start the dishwasher or unload the dishwasher

Ruby (seven): Walk the dog, collect the laundry from the bathrooms and bring it to the laundry room, bring the empty garbage cans up from the curb, make the beds, organize the shoe closet

Sloane (four): Feed the dog, set the table, put away everyones shoes, vacuum up the never-ending crumbs with the handheld vacuum (her favorite).

Want to Know My Secret Weapon? 

It's called "mom's choice."  

What exactly is a "mom's choice?"  It is my single favorite part of the chore chart.  

A ‘mom’s choice’ is when I get to spontaneously choose something that needs to get done.  For example, if the playroom is messy, I might choose that they straighten it.  If the children’s bathroom is particularly gross, “mom’s choice” might mean giving it a wipe down. It is basically free license for me to ask them to do whatever I need in that moment.  Yup! That's my secret weapon. 

Do Your Kids do Chores?

Remember, every family is different, and there is no magic solution that will work for everyone. Let your child’s age and temperament guide the way for you.  I REALLY hope that this post does not come off as sanctimonious.  I hesitated to write it, because making other moms feel like they "should" be doing this or that IS NOT MY JAM.  Instead, I wrote it because I think what we've come up with just might work for you. It might make your life easier....and we all need life to be just a little bit easier.  

I would love to know what works in your family. Please tell me in the comments below.

Lastly, here are a few links for some other great ideas on chores and children: 

·    http://www.focusonthefamily.com/parenting/parenting-challenges/motivating-kids-to-clean-up/age-appropriate-chores

·    http://www.scarymommy.com/kids-chores-more-successful-adults/

·    https://www.pinterest.com/pin/57983913928431981/

Thanks for reading along, 

Lizzie