Crying is Allowed

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“The wider the range of possibilities we offer children, the more intense will be their motivations and the richer their experiences. We must widen the range of topics and goals, the types of situations we offer and their degree of structure, the kinds and combinations of resources and materials, and the possible interactions with things, peers, and adults.”
— Loris Malaguzzi

People often ask me about the WHY behind the play.  Why is it important? What are they really getting out of these activities? Would their time be better spent at lessons or being taught to read and spell? Simply put, no. Their time is SO valuable.  And it is my mission to make sure its protected.  It is really important to me that my kids have the time to spend being bored, being dreamy, and playing.  In an effort to explain why, I am going to take you through a recent experience with my girls.

On this particular morning, I had  set up some loose parts and kinetic sand on our light table.   When the girls noticed the prompt, they began to work. As I went about my own work, I watched and listened. 

My 4year old set to work doing 4 year old things.  She scooped the sand and let it slip through her fingers.  She squeezed kinetic sand and then filled and dumped from a small container making smooth little mounds.  When she was satisfied, she added wire and wood chips to her little structure. 

My 7 year old, on the other hand, set to work doing important 7 year old things.  Same materials, different developmental stage.  The seven year old smoothed out a block of sand and then used the loose parts to write the word “LOVE” in the sand.  She shaped her letters out of rocks, sticks, negative space, and wood beads that she retrieved from our art cabinet. She rearranged the letters and spoke out loud about her spelling.  Making sure "LOVE" was spelled correctly was really important to her.

As the girls worked side by side, something important happened.  Something more important than letter writing, fine motor work or sensory exploration.  What happened? The girls ARGUED.  Sloane, at just four years old, is at an impatient moment in time.  She wants what she wants NOW.  Ruby, at seven, can be equally impatient, but in a different way.  She doesn’t want her work touched by sticky little fingers and she especially does not want to give up what she is using in an unreasonable time frame.  At seven, she is much more reasonable than at four.  She doesn't remember what it feels like to be four and so, she does not want to give in to four-year-old demands.  As you can imagine, this can lead to conflict.  With conflict comes learning, and that is the most important thing to me. 

The argument went down like this.  Ruby picks up the small silver cup that Sloane was using a few moments earlier.  Sloane screams and yells at Ruby that it’s HER cup.  Ruby calmly replies that she is using it and will give her sister a turn when she is finished.  Not good enough.  Sloane throws herself to the floor sobbing about the cup.  Ruby tries to talk her off the ledge, but unless Sloane has the cup in her hand, it's not good enough. Clearly, Ruby is not giving up the cup. This goes on for three or four minutes.  The tired mom in me fights the urge to get an indenticle cup from the cupboard and make Ruby trade.  But, the teacher in me forces myself to give them space to figure it out.  Eventually, Ruby is finished with the cup.  She tells Sloane, but Sloane is too far gone.  Sloane is committed to her outburst.  She carries on crying, and Ruby carries on working at the table.  And then suddenly, Sloane stands up, wipes her tears and announces, "I’m done crying now.  Ruby, you can keep the cup.  I'll use this stick to poke holes instead."  No one intervened, no one gave in to her demands, she had simply worked through it in her own time.  She was ready.  She had taught herself to cope.  

Children need to have the opportunity to argue and test emotional ideas.  Often, we solve these issues FOR children.  We “teach” them rules and phrases for sharing.  We inject adult notions of “fairness” into these innocent earlychildhood experiences. But don’t we KNOW that children learn best by doing?  I know that.  I’m sure of it.  With that being the case, I know they need the opportunity to try crying as a tool, to try talking, to try grabbing, and to eventually find the right tool.  I want them to learn how a peer might respond if they grab or cry.  I want them to learn how to communicate by communicating.  I want them to learn to negotiate materials, space and ideas.  This is why play is so important for all children.   

Our Top Playroom Picks

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Here come the gifts! The piles and piles of toys! Be grateful, right? Be happy for how fortunate we are to be given all these things.  But why do we have all these things and no one uses ANYTHING??  

When my big kids were toddlers, I remember feeling unsettled about the onslaught of toys around the holidays and birthdays.  Well meaning friends and relatives would generously gift the children with expensive toys that were meant to make us all happy.  But instead, I felt overwhelmed by the clutter and the children never seemed to use the toys after the initial excitement wore off. I felt guilty putting them in the closet or (gulp) donating toys that were just given to us.  As an Early Childhood Educator, I knew that a good set of blocks, some sturdy art supplies, books and perhaps a few dolls and trucks could keep my children playing for hours.  Despite the piles of plastic purses, fireman towers, and beeping, flashing balls, my kids returned again and again to their blocks, books and crayons.  The less they had, the more they played.  When our playroom was filled with overflowing piles of toys, it just didn't happen. 

Why won't children play when they have all these toys?  Think about walking into a huge grocery store.  You are hungry.  You need to make dinner.  You want to eat.  Your family will want to eat. And here you are.  Easy, right? Wrong.  So wrong.  You are overwhelmed. It's loud in there and the lights are so bright! Sale specials are constantly blaring over the loud speaker. You toss chips in your cart.  A head of broccoli. Hamburgers are on sale, you should get those. Oh wait, you need milk! Can you see where this is going? You end up in the long check out line with a full cart of random stuff and nothing for dinner.  You are still hungry.  Wallet empty.  Tired. Probably a bit cranky.  I imagine that this is how it feels to be a child walking into a messy playroom, full of loud, cluttered toys.  They want to play.  They NEED to play, but it is too overwhelming. 

Now, imagine yourself walking into a well organized, small  grocery store.  There are limited choices. Someone who knows you well has placed the basic ingredients that you need to feed yourself and your family. You place a few delicious objects in your cart. You can relax, and be productive.

 Now imagine your child walking into a play space that has only a few well chosen materials to work with.  The materials are open-ended, meaning that they can become whatever your child imagines.  There is clear space to play.  They know exactly where to find what they need.  Now imagine hours of peaceful, uninterrupted PLAY. 

I have three children.  They are nine, seven and almost four.  They have very different interests and personalities.  But ALL of our materials are open-endeded.  Every material in our playroom can become anything.    Our blocks are the probably the most important thing in our small playroom.  My nine year old builds huge intricate marble runs and towers that would impress an architect.  I swear he can defy gravity.  My Seven year old builds as well.  She makes homes for little critters.  if you remove the roof, you can look in and see rooms deep inside.  There are little beds that are cozy with colored bits of wool and fabric scraps for blankets. Her own mini art works hang on the wall. She uses her finger knittings to hang hammocks off the outside of the abode. My littlest uses the blocks constantly.  She doesn't "build" with them, really.  But boy can she play with them! She sets up little enclosures for her dolls, she pushes critters around on a "bus" and sends them off to school.  She processes her own life experiences, by transforming the blocks into whatever she needs in order to set the tone for her play. For me, that is the key;  open ended materials that can transform into whatever your child needs to set the tone for his or her play.  My best advice to you is to keep it limited.  Keep it simple.  Keep it open-ended.

Here is a list of my top five open-ended materials in our playroom right now.  

  1. Unit Blocks

  2. Waldorf Silks

  3. People and Animals

  4. Dollhouse

  5. Marbles

 

What works for your family in your playroom? Do you have any great ideas or materials that you love?  Let me know! Thanks for reading along, Lizzie

*This post is not sponsored in any way.  

A Jungle Jumparoo Has Landed In Our Yard!

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We have a Jungle Jumparoo! And we LOVE it.

When the folks over at Jungle Jumparoo first contacted me about trying out this product, I wasn't really sure.  We've never had any kind of jungle gym or trampoline in our yard.  We have our tinkerspace, an open yard where we  run and play and lots of neighbors to ride bikes with.  If we want to climb, we are lucky enough to have a local playground just around the block.  I've never felt the need for any kind of climbing apparatus.  Also, I am not a trampoline fan.  Bouncy castles and trampoline gyms make me nervous.  If you know me, you know I support risky play for children.  I watch my 3 year old ride up and down our bike ramp with much older children. I've encouraged my 6 year old to jump off a cliff into the ocean below.  I often trust my littles with electric drills and hot glue guns.  But trampolines? Not so much.  Enter the Jungle Jumparoo.

It came in a super-heavy box that sat in our living room until we finally had time to put it together (thanks, honey!).  We set it up in our front yard so that all of the children in our neighborhood would have the opportunity to give it a go.   Minutes after set up, I looked at the kids jumping and laughing, and realized, WOW, THIS JUMPER IS THE REAL DEAL!  

I am always setting the stage for play in my home.  We have very few "toys" but we do have lots of loose parts and other open ended materials.  I have a criteria for the 'toys' that we keep in our home. When my children play, I want the materials to be able to meet them where they are in their own personal development. The materials must be multi-use and appropriate for all three of my children.  For example, a unit block can be used as industriously by a two year old as it can by a nine year old.  Will they use it in the same manner? No way!  Can they both use a unit block industriously? Absolutely.   Same thing with the Jungle Jumparoo.  

From the very littles,  all the way up to the adults, everyone is jumping on our Jumparoo.  The other morning, I observed as our little neighbor toddled up to the large bouncy tube and push against it, feeling his own weight come back against him.  He eyed up the colorful poles and reached up to feel them.  Meanwhile, my three year old climbed right into the middle of the tube and cozied up in the center with her lovey and watched the clouds role by above her.  Enter a gaggle of 5 and 6 year olds.  They came by and bounced, climbed, and monkey-barred around the top.  They made up a game using certain colored poles as "home" poles and the other colored poles were worth varying points.  They flipped themselves upside down and hung there and laughed and laughed.  My oldest child, nine years old, uses the jumper all the time. He and his friends can catch tons of air as they let off steam after school.  They jump and chatter and challenge one another to see who can get themselves higher.  I even gave it few bounces.  Yup, really fun!

One of my favorite things about living in my neighborhood is that children of all ages interact and play together.  There are kids of all ages everywhere!  ALL of these children can safely play TOGETHER on the Jungle Jumparoo.  Click HERE to see more safety facts on the Jungle Jumparoo vs a trampoline.

 We already own the large Jumparoo.  But now I kind of want the small one for our basement during the winter! And the accessories that are available are pretty cool too.  There's a rope swing attachment, a sprinkler, a ball pit, etc!!   Um, good thing the holidays are around the corner.  Right now, the creators of Jungle Jumparoo are offering you guys $100 off the purchase of your Jumperoo when you use the code WORKSPACE100.  

Do you have any questions for me regarding the Jungle Jumparoo? Maybe you want to know more about open ended materials? Reach out and let me know. 

Thanks for following along,  Lizzie 

*This post contains sponsored links from Jungle Jumparoo. All thoughts and opinions are my own.