Mental Health Days for Kids
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For as long as I can remember, our family has taken mental health days or ‘skip days’ from school or life every once in a while.
A Skip Day (mental health day) means that my child skips school that day to play and rest.
One of our core family values is personal development. Having mental health days supports that value by providing the opportunity for my children to nurture themselves. Taking a break from the rigors of life is valuable and necessary. I want my kids to get to know who they are. One way that I support that is by making sure that I give them the time, space, and opportunity to learn.
I shared the concept of mental health days for kids on IG recently, and The Workspace for Children Community had lots of questions. I am going to share the Q and A below to give you a better idea of how this works and why I believe that it is so important.
(There are no right or wrong answers here. Be flexible, do what works for your family, and don’t be afraid to change it up when you need to.)
How often?
Pre-pandemic we usually had one per quarter, give or take.
Is there a good age to start implementing mental health days?
We’ve been doing them since preschool.
Preplanned v Spontaneous? Do you ever say no when a mental health day is requested?
Spontaneous is what works best for our family. When the children were little, they definitely got the answer no more often. Now, they rarely ask, so I try to say yes when I can. They know how special these kinds of days are and they don’t abuse it. Of course, it depends on my work schedule. I also expect them to entertain themselves. It helps that I am very comfortable saying no without guilt.
How do you explain this to a four year old?
Everyone needs a day to rest and play to help their minds and bodies grow.
Do they have to ask for a day or do you suggest it if they seem a little off?
I truly is situational. Mostly, I suggest it if they seem off. I ave also suggested it when they’ve been very deep in a self-directed project or play and I wanted to let them flow with it. I am very, very clear that a mental health day is NOT a special day where Mommy entertains you. If they ask for a day, I usually help them think it out before agreeing. I will ask how they plan to spend the day and remind them that I am here to take care of them but not to play with them and entertain them. For the big kids, I also have them email their teachers and tell them that they are taking a mental health day.
Do you ever do all of the kids on the same day or do you do purposely do them one at a time?
Usually only in the summer (camp)I do that because I like to take advantage of an empty beach when no friends are around and I know the three of them will the the chance to bond- fight, play, fight, play.
How do you deal with own fears of kids becoming lazy/ slacking/not taking school seriously?
I want my children to value their own ability to create, innovate, think, relax, just as much as (if not more) than they value their traditional education. My kids are the opposite of lazy. They are full of fire and ideas that need to be tended to and nurtured. I feel so strongly about this. That’s why I have an entire course that teaches parents how to implement daily quiet time. It is so important if you want to raise children who know how to think for themselves.
Do the other kids get upset if they can’t stay home too?
Sometimes. But that’s okay. They are allowed to be upset. They are allowed to wish they were staying home. I am okay with that.
How do you know when to push through and when to call a mental health day?
hey do not stay home every time they have a hard morning. Not at all. There is so much value in pushing through the hard mornings and having a great day after all. We only do this around three or four times a year. It depends on my work schedule, what’s happening at school, etc. As I said before I am very good at saying no. You know your child. Trust your gut.
How have the schools responded to their mental health day emails?
I’ve never gotten pushback. I have had teachers who applaud the this kind of day. You are the parent in charge of your own family. The outside world will never agree with you 100 percent of the time. I make choices for my family that serve their unique personalities and development. My job as their mom is to take care of them, not to please the masses.
Is it harder once they are teens because of what they might miss?
Yes and no. They need them more than ever at that age, and they are completely capable of making a plan to catchup. You’d be how amazed your children can get it together when they are not tired and overwhelmed. And when they have had the opportunity to practice being responsible for their choices.
I ask the big kids what their plan is for catch up before we agree to the day by literally saying, “What’s you plan for xxx?’. The is how you scaffold thinking ahead without rescuing or doing it for them.
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