It can be so much fun to celebrate milestones with friends and family- the presents, the cake, the entertainment, the people. And… It can also be extremely overwhelming and overstimulating.

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4 Tips for helping your child enjoy birthday parties

You do not have to go to every birthday party your child is invited to.
It’s okay to say yes only to close friends and family. If you know your child will be overwhelmed by a big trampoline park and that’s where the party is being held, it is okay to politely decline the invitation. If you value family time or downtime on weekends, it is okay to protect that time. I remember when my oldest was first on the preschool party circuit, it felt like we had to go to everything! We skipped nap times, packed our weekends to fit everything in. You know what happened? The weekends stopped being fun. Nate was cranky at the parties and Dave and I never got a chance to relax on the weekends. If you are a parent and you want to cultivate a culture of family time and relaxation on the weekends, you have to create it. That means saying no to what doesn’t align.
Tell your child what to expect in advance.
Say this: After lunch we are going to go to Joshua’s birthday party at a new park. Lucy and Daryll will be there and maybe some other children from your class. There will also be other children and parents there that are new to us! You will play and eat cupcakes and sing Happy Birthday, and maybe some other things too. Daddy and I will stay there and we will chat with the other grownups. What do you think the party will be like? Do you have questions? This approach helps your child process their experience and feel less overwhelmed. Give them a while to warm up, if that’s what they need. Rather than pushing your child to join, give them the opportunity to stand on the sidelines and watch until they feel comfortable.
Practice party manners at home.
Parents are often shocked when their children don’t automatically behave a certain way out and about… A birthday party can be a great opportunity to practice pleases and thank you’s, but temper your expectations. It can feel very intimidating to a small child to speak to an adult they don’t know, while also remembering your expectations that they use their most polite manners. Try role playing at home. Pretend to be at a party and let your child play the role of hostess and guest. Try it with dolls or dinosaurs, have fun with it! At the party remind your child gently to say please and thank you. If you can see they are not comfortable, do not force them. Instead, say it for them. Look your host in the eye and say, “Thank you for having us today.” This will model the appropriate behavior for your child. Trust that they will learn from your modeling.
Go home after the party.
Plan for lots of play and rest after the party. Do not try to make a quick Target run or visit with the in-laws after the birthday party. Plan for downtime. Your child will need it.