Are your little kids suddenly turning into big kids who don’t quite fit on your lap anymore?  Mine are…

If I’m being honest, I’ve always dreaded my kids getting older. I am not a teen expert. I am an early childhood person all the way, and middle schoolers have always intimidated me. The teenage years have always looked scary and blurry up in the distance. 

Can you relate?  (Tell me it’s not just me…)

Like it or not, our kids grow up. And as they do, our relationships with them change. Those toddler boo-boos that were once made better with a band-aid and a kiss become intense friendship dramas that you “just wouldn’t understand”. 

The more I learn about parenting a tween and teen though, the more I see how congruent parenting toddlers is to parenting teens. 

The foundation of maintaining a solid relationship during both of these stages is CONNECTION.

3 Ways to Connect with Your Children as They Grow Up

1. Maintain a Physical Connection

Physical touch reinforces how much we love our kids. It is how we build trust and create a secure attachment with our children. When our kids are little we hold, rock, and cuddle them all day long. As our children outgrow that stage, it’s important to keep up with this type of connection, it may just take a little more creativity on your end. Try to think of other ways you can connect with them physically. 

Need some ideas to help you continue a physical connection with your tween or teen?  Try these:

• Play with their hair

• Offer to snuggle up with a movie on the couch

• Challenge them to a wrestling match or race them to the car

2. Show Them That You Trust Them

Building trust and connection with your kids during this stage involves listening more than you talk. Your kids want to share with you all about their day, and what they like and don’t like, but they need to be able to know that you trust their instincts and honesty.  They need to know you will listen without judgement.

 If you need some tips on how to get your child talking and how you can listen more attentively, check out this blog.

As a parent, you are there to be a sounding board for your child as they process their own experiences. Show your child that you trust them to guide their own way (with you as a supporting actor). Trusting them will go such a long way when it comes to maintaining a relationship with them!

3. Embrace Their Interests

When your kids were small, the classes and activities you attended were all about your friends and your interests since you could pick your kids up and put them wherever you wanted them to be.  

Now that your child is older and they have more autonomy, this can’t always be the case. Ask them engaging questions about their TRUE interest, even if it is not what you would have chosen for them. 

Once they’ve shared their interests with you, support them in learning more about what excites them. It’s important for them to feel free to really try on a lot of different ideas and personalities and know that they always have a safe place to land with you. 

This isn’t always easy, but if you practice accepting them for who they are becoming, they will know that you are a comfortable, and safe landing pad.

My goal as I enter the teenage years with my kids is to connect with my children and to be very respectful of them as they grow into their new interests and personalities. 

I hope I can maintain our relationship by continuing to work on building the strong connection that we’ve been building our whole lives. 

I’m kind of loving this stage of parenting my quirky, creative tween and teen. It is challenging in a beautiful sense.  If your kids are not yet to this stage, you really do have so much to look forward to!

I hope you enjoyed this blog! If you want to keep up with more Workspace for Children content, follow along on Instagram by clicking HERE.

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