Dinner at 3pm?
Eating lunch at school is harder than you might think... Put yourself in your 5-year-old's shoes for a moment. They have to retrieve their lunchbox, navigate to the lunch area, find a seat, and manage their little body in that space. It's easy to forget that simply sitting still in a chair can be challenging for young children whose bodies are full of energy and still developing control.
Now, imagine them trying to sit next to other kids, open various containers, and actually eat their meal. They're surrounded by new smells, potential spills, unfamiliar rules, and routines. Their developing fine motor skills are put to the test as they manipulate utensils and packaging. All of this happens in a sensory-rich environment that can be overwhelming for some children.
There's also the social aspect to consider. Your child needs to find a place to sit, possibly navigate new friendships, and interact with peers while eating - skills that many adults find challenging! They're learning to be independent in a way they may not have experienced before, managing their own meal from start to finish.
I'm just saying, when you break it down, it's a lot for a young child to handle. It's a situation that calls for patience, understanding, and perhaps some practice at home to build confidence. Remember, what seems simple to us can be a significant challenge for our little ones.
Let’s bring the temperature down. I am not here to make you feel more worried, I am here to help you feel confident and prepared!
Here are a few tips…
Lower your expectations and expect them to come home hungry! School lunch is mostly just about being social and only a little bit about eating. If your child isn’t eating a lot at school, it’s likely because they are using their energy to take it all in. Make eating at school as easy as you can, and then let go of control. Because you’re not there and you can’t make them eat. Knowing that, pack a punch with the snack you plan for when they arrive home.
Use a simple lunch box that won’t be hard to open. Cut everything up, and unwrap anything you can ahead of time. Peel the clementine, open the cheese stick, and put a slit in the package of pretzels to make the ripping easy. Remember, they don’t have a lot of time to eat so you don’t want them to waste lunch time with their hand in the air waiting for a grownup to come over and open their food for them. If your child has a fine motor weakness, talk to them about how to ask for help with opening stuff. If your child is particularly adept at opening things, talk to them about helping their peers.
Familiar, easy-to-eat foods. Nothing complicated or over the top. Trust me, the teachers do not think you are a better mother if you pack the fanciest lunch. Pack a nutritious lunch that your child can eat independently in a timely manner. The first weeks of school are not the time that you should be experimenting with new foods. Pack safe foods. They are stretching themselves in every other area, so give them an easy comfort win in their lunch box.
Pack foods you want your child to eat in any order THEY choose. If you are going to be upset that they eat dessert and not their apple slices, don’t pack a dessert. Save it for when they get home. Kids should be able to exercise their independence when they eat lunch at school. If you pack all foods that are acceptable to you, it is ok for them to choose the order in which they want to eat it. Power struggle is eliminated.
Practice! Use your child’s lunch box at home. Show them what their lunch box with their name on it looks like. Have them practice opening and closing the latches and containers at home. Get them completely comfortable with it. No surprises on that first day. This is one unknown that you can get in front of.
"Let's not call food 'good' and 'bad,' 'healthy' or 'unhealthy."... I cannot stress this enough. @kidseatincolor does a great job explaining this so I will just leave it here.
Now it’s time to talk lunch boxes: Not to make you jealous, but midway through last year with a 4th, 8th, and 11th grader, I realized I had mostly stopped making school lunches. Truthfully, I was kinda sad. They were either buying or making it themselves. Was it foods that I would have chosen for them? Probably not. But, at least they are mostly around for dinner of my choosing. (More on that in another post).
Back to lunchboxes: Here is a side-by-side comparison of the top-selling lunch boxes that we have experience with.
It is sturdy and lasts forever. This thing will last until your kid loses it.
Dishwasher Safe- this is so important to me.
Leak Proof, but liquids need to go into smaller sealed containers
It makes packing lunches easy- just fill the compartments, no fiddling with lids and wrappers.
Does not fit a standard lunch box case. You have to order theirs.
It is simple to control portion size and add variety.
Very Pricey. I would be very upset if this got lost. Planet Box gifted us two lunch boxes way back in 2019 or else I probably would’ve been too cheap to spring for these. They are so worth it, so I bought a third.
Easy to open and close for even the littlest hands.
The compartments are completely airtight and I have never had a leaking issue.
It makes packing lunches really easy- just fill the compartments, no fiddling with lids and wrappers. It is simple to control portion size and add variety.
It comes apart easily and all goes right in the dishwasher- top rack only.
Fits inside a standard lunchbox case.
This is the lunch box I reach for time and time again.
Lightweight. We travel with these. Use them on the plane and then rinse them out and fill them with breakfast buffet leftovers so that your littles can snack when you get to the beach or pool.
This lunchbox is too small for most upper-elementary children.
OMIEBOX HOT AND COLD BENTO LUNCHBOX
Multi-temperature compartments with the use of the insulated thermos insert, allowing you to take warm and cold food in the same bento lunchbox.
The sections are custom, so you can remove the thermos leaving room for a large sandwich instead.
It fits a standard lunchbox case or you can take it on its own using the handle. It is insulated, so you don’t need to add ice packs. The side compartment fits a juice box or yogurt pouch well.
Durable. We have had these lunchboxes for years and they’ve been dragged and dropped. The might look a little worse for the wear but they still work great.
Dishwasher safe on the top rack.
The Thermos only keeps food hot or cold for four hours, making it ideal for half-day preschoolers, but not so great when lunchtime is after that time frame. And, you must preheat the thermos with boiling water or it will not keep things warm.
I love that you can customize the smaller compartments, but I don’t love that they are not leakproof. They sell leakproof add-ons that fit the box, but they are pricey and only fit certain versions of the Omie Box.
Inexpensive and durable. These were the first bentos we ever used, and we continue to use them today. I also use them to prep snacks in the fridge that the kids can grab and go. My teens love them and it helps cut down on processed snacks.
I am not upset if they get lost because they aren’t as expensive as the other bento boxes we own.
They fit easily in a standard lunchbox case.
Holds a sandwich with room.
They are only hand-washable. The dishwasher will warp them… I speak from experience.
The compartments are not leakproof.
Why I used to feed my kids dinner at 3pm, and you might consider doing it too:
If your kids come home from school hangry and then barely eat dinner at dinner time because they filled up on post-school snacks, it’s time to switch things up. When my kids were little, I would cook right before school pick-up and then feed them dinner after school. Then, at dinner time, they could choose to eat a second dinner or choose a snack instead. We still sat down as a family at dinner time, but not everyone had “dinner foods.” If you are unable to prep or cook ahead of time, try feeding heartier things like frozen meatballs, pasta, rotisserie chicken, soups, etc after school. I like to think of it as a kind of “strike while the iron is hot” kind of strategy.
Now that we have lunchtime at school covered, can we get back to summer?
We still have a little more than a month left, and I plan to make the most of it. My middle daughter and I are heading to Newport RI for a quick getaway (hit me up with recs!), my youngest is at a 2-week sleepaway camp, my oldest just got back from 2 weeks in Montana, and my husband is heading to his fantasy football draft with his college buddies. Is anyone else a fantasy sports fanatic? My husband has been obsessed with it since college.
If you are planning any more summer travel, you can find my ultimate family travel guide here. It includes tips for travel with kids, how to prep them for travel, planning for downtime at the destination, how to set up your hotel room for independent play, and more.
If you are solidly in back-to-school mode, or you are starting to feel anxious about school looming a little too close for comfort, don't miss A Parent’s Handbook For Starting School.
If you are ready to start BTS shopping, check out our 2024 BTS Roundup for lunch boxes, water bottles, shoes, t-shirts, outer layers, and more!
Whether you are in Back to School mode or summer mode, take a deep breath and know that you are enough and your kid loves you. x Lizzie
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