Big feelings are really hard to process…. for children and adults.

Sometimes it is too hard for a child to acknowledge his feelings. Instead, she might try to connect with you through behaviors that are defensive, angry and needy.

Although it is so hard to remember this in the moment, your child is likely asking:

“Mama, do you see me?”

“Mama, can you help me?”

“Mama, I need you to contain my feelings for me. They are too hard, too big, too scary.”

“Mama, show me you can love me and help me process these impossible emotions.”

But…. Mama is tired. Mama is scared. Mama is stressed and sad and worried. Mama is human too and dealing with her own huge, impossible feelings.

Now what?

Let me tell you something that I’ve learned in my years of teaching and parenting. When it feels too hard to talk about feelings directly, tell a story.

For example: “When I was a little girl, I had a friend who always wished her big sister would play with her. She tried and tried, but her sister never wanted to play with her. The little girl would get so ANGRY and …….”

Or, “When Uncle Andy was a little boy he was always hitting at the park. Our Mama would get so angry with him and we all had to leave. He wanted to play with the children, and he would get so excited on the way there! He never meant to hit, but he was still learning how to share. When the other children wanted to see his trucks, it became too hard to use his words. He was worried they would take his favorite one, and then he would start hitting! He really just needed a grown up to stay with him and help him, but his Mama did not know that…. Poor Uncle Andy. It was so hard for him when he was a little boy.”

The point of these made up stories is for your child to see that there are others just like her, going through things just like her. We want to normalize what is happening for them with these fictional characters who are just like them.

It is so much less threatening than talking directly to your child about your child.

As I mentioned above, Mama is also tired, stressed and burnt out right now. It might feel like too much to try and make up a creative story to help your child with her feelings. That’s okay.

I have compiled some of my all-time favorite children’s books to help you with classic stories that your children can relate to.

Clickable links are available HERE .

*These books are affiliate links. Thanks for supporting The Workspace for Children.