5 Phrases to Remember When Setting Limits With Your Child this Holiday Season
Has your child requested something this holiday season that you are just not on board with? Did they request the latest video game, an outfit, or the hottest toy on the market that they just “can’t live without”?
“But, Mom… everyone is getting one!”
Does this phrase sound all too familiar to you?
Maybe they want a cell phone, but you’ve made the decision that you aren’t going to buy your child a cell phone until they have reached a certain age. Or maybe you have set a budget surrounding gifts this year and the toy on your child’s wish list is out of reach.
Holidays can be a tricky time when it comes to setting limits with your child surrounding what gifts are acceptable and align with your family values. Not sure what to do? Meet your child where they are emotionally, while still setting clear limits on gifts this holiday season.
How to:
“But, Mom! Everyone else has that toy!”
“ALL my friends are getting that game for Christmas. I want it too!”
“But I put it on my list!!”
Remember: Even if it feels like they’ll hate you forever, they won’t!
I know how difficult it can be to tell your child no around this time of year, but it won’t ruin the holiday season.
Remember: You are the parent. It is your job to set clear limits and boundaries for your child on what is appropriate and what is not. You are allowed to say no when something your child wants doesn’t feel good to you.
Read this blog if you need some extra support when it comes to telling your child “no”.
Even though you’re telling your child that they cannot have what they want in these scenarios, you can show your child empathy.
Here are 5 phrases to use for setting limits with your child this holiday season
Different families have different ideas about what is appropriate.
It’s okay to want that item, but I am not going to buy it.
You can be angry with me. I love you no matter what.
I’m sorry, but I am not going to change my mind on this one.
I can see how disappointed you are. I know how much you wish I would say yes.
Meeting your child where they are at emotionally and seeing the situation through their eyes will make all the difference.
It may even seem easier at times to say yes and give in. It may feel like this is the best way to keep the peace with your child and not risk an argument with them. Setting CLEAR limits though will help your child to understand your family values and boundaries. This will not happen overnight, but with consistency, they will develop a better understanding as they grow.
Children want to feel seen and heard. Letting them know that you understand where they are coming from while setting the boundary will help them to be more accepting of your answer. Does this mean that you won’t be met with a tantrum? Probably not. But setting limits is one of the most important things we can do for our children.
Having clear expectations surrounding something as simple as holiday gifts can make your child feel safe and loved and teach them to respect the limits of others as well as the limits they will ultimately set for themselves.
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